It seems I’m still trying to live in the past. In previous years a typical Labor Day would include packing a picnic lunch, cleaning up a car and drive to a car show. It is fun to visit with other car enthuiasists and enjoy the park. Today I thought about taking the 69 Camaro by myself to the Labor Day Car Show but the weather was foggy and looked rainy so I decided to stay home. I felt the need to clean the car anyway. I’ve been driving it this week so it had a few bugs, the carpets had grass bits and the windshield needed to be clear. First thing I did, was hit my forehead on the metal trunk spoiler. It really hurt but I continued to clean the car. I spent about an hour working on things and took this picture after I was finished. Then I went to look at my forehead. It was turning blue and had a pump knot. A friend told me to put ice on it or the bump would get larger. So I got some ice and held it to my forehead as I rested. Sure enough after an hour the knot was less prominent, the ache was gone and the bruise had lightened. Now that I’m home alone, I’m wishing I had just driven the car to the show. It makes me wonder if my family members who think I should move away and start a new life know what is best for me. Old habits just won’t leave that easily.
It’s been a long journey of my lifetime, never easy but always worth it. I’ve devoted most of 53 years on this journey. I had to add the word most because, I sometimes veered off into my own. Those moments devoted to my own desires were rare and now I find myself trying to uncover me, the alone me. I need to uncover what I want, where I want to live, how and where I can find joy. I have to learn by starting over.
I know the music I listen to right now is country, my go to was always country but I also learned to love rock of the 60s. He loved the 60s music.
I know I want to continue creating art, photography and writing. He designed and build houses and cars.
I know I still want to travel. With a day’s notice, we would take off for new destinations across the USA.
He completed me. He planned and I procrastinated. He had big ideas and never stopped dreaming.
He was my supporter, defender and partner. May he rest in peace til we meet again.
In response to teacher appreciation week, I found this quote and was compelled to write about a teacher and mentor who still inspires me.
“One looks back with appreciation to the brilliant teachers, but with gratitude to those who touched our human feelings. The curriculum is so much necessary raw material, but warmth is the vital element for the growing plant and for the soul of the child.” Carl Yung
I had one of those teachers, one who touched my heart and soul. He demonstrated so much care for our growth, both as humans and as students. He would look at our achievement test scores from the previous year and talk with us about how we could improve. He watched us mature and instilled confidence in all aspects of our lives. He was a cheer sponsor and basketball coach who remembered our efforts 50 years later. He knew our families and planted seeds for our future. He once told me that I was as smart as those other girls in my class, those girls who had everything together. He told me my test scores were exceptional. I had no clue that I could do anything, I was so backward. I needed someone to help me develop my confidence and encourage my work to improve. He arranged for our class field trips, we took hayrides on his propert and went bowling. He sponsored our 8th grade play and I actually participated. I loved learning the lines and acting but I didn’t like being in front of a crowd.
Because of his warmth and support I went to college, became a teacher, counselor, principal and finally comfortable speaking in front of crowds. I think that is a great testament to his mentorship. I dedicate this to Mr. James McCoy.
Death disrupts life
Life filtered through memories
Yet we continue
Flowering Dogwood Branches
Innocence Plus Purity
These understory trees growing in the woods are simply beautiful, the sparse and airy blossoms create play with light and dark. I’ve tried painting these trees but find it challenging to capture the beauty. Finally I cut branches for a vase hoping it would be easier and am still not satisfied. I should not expect to out perform nature so I will continue trying to replicate the beauty I find there.
Fortunately, I wrote something for 31 days.
Unfortunately, I was late (11:03 central) ability to post was cut off.
Fortunately, I wrote from my heart.
Unfortunately, I was distracted.
Fortunately, I received much support for my writing.
Unfortunately, I didn’t comment on as many posts as I’d hoped.
Fortunately, Slice of Life 2022 is one for the record books.
“Face down in the moment waiting to let Go”
On my way to the hospital this morning I heard a song that spoke to me. It was written and sung by Nathaniel Rateliff & the Night Sweats. The DJ said many of his songs were about overcoming. I’d never heard of him before. You can listen on You Tube at the link below:
This refrain, “Keep waiting on the night, keep waiting on your pain” explains my current life.
I love being a part of this writing community! I love it because all of us together make it unique and supportive.
The connections we form are precious. We share similar life experiences. We write about our memories that trigger other memories. I’ve unburdened myself many times and always received blessings of joy and support. In turn I’ve tried to be responsive and supportive by using my writing. It’s always been easier for me to be supportive in person and much more difficult when writing. I feel that I’ve improved my writing because of this community!
Writing in this safe place allows time for reflection and contemplation. It teaches me so much about how others handle things in their lives. It causes me to notice the small moments and honor my feelings.
This community of writers presents varied writing topics and formats and therefore provides a comfortable place to try different kinds of writing.
Thanks to everyone for another year of writing growth and for growing deeper connections.
I can’t write about what almost happened today.
I can say how thankful I am the situation was corrected.
I can’t think about what might happen tomorrow.
I can stay in the present and be thankful for now.
I can’t worry about the future.
I can live in the here and now.
That is all I can do.
Today my son made us waffles for breakfast.
Before that instead of rushing to visit my husband in the hospital, I stayed with my son & daughter-in-law.
Before that I told my husband’s sister-in-law she should visit my husband today with her husband.
Before that the nephrologist ask if anyone had told my sister-in-law that the kidney she gave to my husband 16 years ago, her brother-in-law, might be failing.
Before that the nephrologist told me “if only continued dialysis is required” that’s a good outcome.
Before that, my husband’s brother’s wife gave him a kidney that has worked perfectly for 16 years. And would still except for Covid.